what am i talking about?

When I first started blogging, I thought a lot about what to post before I post it. It also entailed a lot of rereading, revisions, and consultations. My first posts were about my favorite book and unforgettable movies. I wrote about pseudo-philosophical thoughts and nationalistic tendencies. Then there came a time when I wrote just about anything, things that, looking back, even I won’t be interested in reading. Heck, I even wrote about bead storage, Johari window, and lucky numbers.

Nevertheless, I realized it has been more than 3 years since I started blogging. I’ve started as eager, then I became lazy, lonely, happy, personal, and distant. I’ve been so many things in this blog. One thing’s for sure, though: all of them are me.

My favorite topic is my thoughts on things. It’s probably because there are not that many (exciting) things happening in my life, except for law school and our family’s fight against my mom’s cancer. Well, I thought of sharing about my love life, especially that period when I was so heart broken after a breakup (which I succesfully kept from friends and family for a year or 2! top that!) and not talking to people about it. But I did not do it. Apparently, even online, I don’t wanna talk about it. haha. And of course, through the depressing months when we first learned of mom’s cancer, well, it was only here that I pour my emotions. And I didn’t even tell mom, up to now, how sad I was then.

But mostly, I can talk about life. I like talking about it—analyzing, reanalyzing, and sometimes, even concluding. It’s such a complicated thing: infinite angles and various dimensions. It’s evolving, or probably just reflecting my own state of mind, just as this blog probably is doing.

And the good thing about life is, I can never really fully understand it. =)

The Second Gabrielle

The second Gabrielle came into my life just last year. Gabby lives upstairs of my apartment, with her parents. She’s very intelligent (she always gets medals!), and her knowledge of a lot of things is very impressive for a 5-year-old. And I can’t help but notice the resemblance in our lives. When I was a child, for some time, it was my father who stayed at home and took care of me. He’s the one who bathe me, feed me, dress me up, and bring me to school. We were practically together the whole day. And so it is now with Gabby and her father. She’s also daddy’s girl, a bratinella when it comes to her father. And just like me, she is her daddy’s boss. =)

At first, I always remember Keng when I see her. Coincidentally, they are both named Gabrielle—Aleeyah Gabrielle and Sophia Gabrielle. Through the passing of time, Gabby and I grew affection for each other. I bought her a gift using my credit cards for her graduation last year, where she got 6 medals. She, on the other hand, sometimes asks her mother to buy me pasalubong whenever they go out on weekends. Sweet little girl. Everyday after her school, she would stay with me for a while, before going upstairs. She’d tell me what they did in school. I’d ask her spelling and quiz her in math. She’d tell me so many stories of people I really don’t know, like her classmate John. haha. Just this morning, we were talking about colors. She told me to ask her to spell colors, so I did. She spelled it all correctly (except for violet). Then I asked the Filipino counterpart of the English colors. I asked her what’s the Tagalog of blue. When she didn’t answer right away, I said asul. She said, “Spanish yun e. Bughaw dapat!” Well, that’s my girl!

Sadly, she and her family will be moving out next month. I am really, really saddened by it. I’d surely miss her, specially our daily conversations and her kisses to me when she arrives and leaves my unit. I asked her, “are you going to miss me?” She said, “mamimiss nga kita e. pero dadalawin naman kita.” That’s Gabby. Sometimes, she talks like a grownup, making me feel like a child. haha.

The First Gabrielle

The first Gabrielle came into my life more than 4 years ago. In this blog, I always refer to her as Keng, although I don’t know how her beautiful name became that “catchy” nickname. haha. She’s the first child born after our generation (me and my cousins), so everyone’s crazy about her, myself included. Inarguably, she’s very pretty, especially with her rosy cheeks. She can pass as Snow White’s child (go see her album in this blog!).

A few months after she was born, she and her family migrated to the Middle East. We only get to see her once a year, during Christmas season. And during those times, we savor every moment we have with her. Para siyang laruan na pinag-aagawan. O kaya parang artista na kinukuha ang atensiyon.And during those times she’s abroad, we content ourselves by talking about her and seeing her through pictures and Skype. It’s fascinating how we could stretch a few weeks of memory of her stay here in the country into an entire year.

Now, we no longer have to resort to memories. She’ll now be staying in the country. In fact, she’s already started studying last week (I don’t know how it happened that she was still allowed to enroll). I am so excited to see her at school! When I get the slightest opportunity to watch over her at school, I’d definitely grab it. I’m already thinking of what to buy my child for graduation, este inaanak pala!

And I’m sure she’s the cutest in the class. Just take a look at her:

social obligation

Notwithstanding that there are things I’d rather do than dine out, there is what my mom calls “social obligation”, a term which she constantly reminds me about. Well, it’s just about attending parties, etc, of others—a way of keeping in touch with society or practicing good customs and the traditional pakikisama (sa pag attend ng mga okasyon?? :p ). One has to give me Rehearsal Dinner Invitations in advance. Because nowadays, I just prefer staying at home with Ted (described as the ideal man in the post below). Signs of growing old, I guess. haha.

Tonight, I fulfilled my social obligation, and this time, to my own parents. haha. We celebrated in advance my parents’ anniversary, with one of mom’s bestfriends and her 2 kids. And as if I hadn’t eaten in a while, I pigged out. I ate sisig, pork barbecue, inihaw na pusit, pinaputok na dory, and shrimp gambas, all with bagoong rice and iced tea. I also enjoyed the conversation (their conversations actually), and we all didn’t notice that hours have passed already.

If all obligations are like this one, I’d happy to be burdened again and again!

On a serious note, happy anniversary mom and dad! I love you both so much. And may we have many many more celebrations–no matter how simple or extravagant–like this one. It’s not the sisig; it’s the joy of being together. =)

i’m in love with ted

Yes, it’s true. I think I’m in love with Ted. I think about him. I can’t go on a day without seeing him, even if it means sacrificing time for sleep or study.

He’s just the romantic type. The hopeless kind. He’s the one who would surprise you with coach gifts or with flowers on your door. Or a little stunt just to make you laugh. He’s emotional and poetic and funny. He just wants to sweep you off your feet. Perhaps he’s the one who can make me “dance like a dervish”.

Oh, and that eyes. That pretty eyes. That puppy eyes. I would melt at the stare of those eyes. And his smile. That boyish smile. It’s so cute and sexy. And I could not help but to smile back, the sweetest smile I can. Oh, how I love that boyish charm.

And he just knows a lot. I learn from him every time. He knows his books and his arts. And we both even love Star Wars. We could go a day talking about it. And he’s childish. He never lost that child-like wonder, and playfulness, and happiness. We’d just click together. But he’s matured. And independent. And talented.

I think I’m in love with you, Ted Mosby.