On believing

Despite great jobs, numerous achievements, and uncountable recognitions, still, we look for something, or someone, to believe in.

The Quintessential Homer

In light of the 20th Anniversary of The Simpsons, unquestionably one of the best cartoons I have ever loved, The Washington Post compiled “The 20 Best Things Homer Simpson Ever Said”, describing Homer as “whether being an oblivious idiot or a self-aware boob, Homer is oh-so-readily mined for comedy gold.” Agree.

So, here you go [read, and it will make your day!]:

20. Homer [drunk]: “See, the thing about my family is there are five of ‘em: Marge, Bart, girl Bart, the one that doesn’t talk and the fat guy. Oh, how I loathe him.”

19. Sideshow Bob: “Homer, how can one man have so many enemies?”
Homer: “I’m a people person.”

18. “I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.”

17. Bart: “Dad, is this art or is it vandalism?”
Homer: “That’s for the courts to decide.”

16. [Comforting] “There, there. Shut up, boy.”

15. Bart: “I smell a museum.”
Homer: “Yeah, good things don’t end with ‘eum.’ They end with ‘mania’ or ‘teria.’ “

14. Marge: “This is the worst thing you’ve ever done.”
Homer: “You say that so often that it’s lost all meaning.”

13. “Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.”

12. Bart: “I want to be emancipated!”
Homer: “Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don’t you like being a dude?”

11. [Ned Flanders has the ability to foresee one’s death]
Ned: “Homer, you will die eating a submarine sandwich.”
Homer: “What kind of bread is it?”
Ned: “Country parmesan.”
Homer: “Woo-hoo!”

10. “Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”

9. “I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for 10 minutes!”

8. [While listening by earpiece to a football game in church]
Homer: “Please, please, please, please …”
Sports announcer (calling a kick): “Yes, it’s good.”
Homer: “It’s good! IT’S GOOD. IT’S GOOD. It’s … good to see you all today.”

7. “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try.”

6. “Look, all I’m saying is, if these big stars didn’t want people going through their garbage and saying they’re gay, then they shouldn’t have tried to express themselves creatively.”

5. Homer [to Marge]: “It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”

4. “Books are useless! I only ever read one book, ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?”

3. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.”

2. Homer: [to Marge]: “You know, I’ve had a lot of jobs… boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby-proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country-western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power-plant worker, fortune-cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe and missionary. But protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all.”

1. Homer: “D’oh!”

I have always loved this family. They’re crazy. =) The Simpsons humor never seems to falter, at least for me. It’s just the right blend of everything, and it’s the very first satire I know. And to Homer –  there is more that meets the eye. haha. He sure knows things about Outer Banks foreclosures, the US government, music, and, well, donuts!

Who doesn’t love these yellow people?

Are You Smarter Than a Fourth Grader?

Today, I found myself in a shameful position. Well, at least to our grade 4 Eduard. After the English review, he asked me to check his Science test. Boy, do I just stare at the first question. I have no clue what the correct answer is! I browsed through the questions, and there are some which I can answer, mostly because the question is a practical one. But majority of the questions leave me with a headache, and poor Eduard is waiting for his checked paper from me! One question asks, Chocolate can dissolve easily in (a) cold water, (b) plain water, (c) hot water, and (d) water with ice. I have nooooo idea. (I think I’ve got to try to experiment on the chocolates here. Sayang naman!). The test goes on with items on kinetic energy, and solvents, and spontaneous combustion (and thankfully, nothing on creatine powder and anything on chemistry!), and I feel like fainting… haha. I remembered that show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? and its local version, and well, I ain’t smarter than a grade 4. haha.

I’ll test you: What are the chemical elements needed to produce heat in fuels? (a) hydrogen and oxygen, (b) hydrogen and sulfur, (c) hydrogen and carbon, (d) hydrogen and nitrogen.

Don’t ask me. I don’t know the answer (as of now, I’m dreading math!).

the meaning of break

During my younger years, semestral break means time to go out with friends, either during the day in malls or during the night in bars. You just miss your friends whom you were always with when you were in high school. I was just excited to see every one of them and eager to hear their stories or see their neos overshoes or new love interest. My mother has always been the strict one, and asking for her permission is long and difficult (up to now). Frankly, I missed some things during high school because of that. There were times when I didn’t even want to try, and I would just stay at home, wishing I was with my friends. Still, there were times when I’d insist on going out, oftentimes already dressed when asking for permission, and my mom hated that so much and she just had to permit me to go. And I would go. I reasoned, it was my break, and please let me do what I want. I do not want to just stay at home and rest. Break is not for that.

And you know your getting older when inside the house is far more attractive than outside. When bars aren’t as fancy, and home coffee is the highlight of the day. And it doesn’t feel like I’m missing anything. Just waking up with a small child embracing you is reason enough to stay at home. Or staying for your grandmother’s home-cooked meal. Or falling asleep while reading a good book.

no-answer question

Eduard kept bugging me since yesterday to review him for an upcoming test, which he does not know when. Since there was no urgency (and I was watching Bleach), I told him to answer the reviewer and we’ll discuss it afterward. The reviewer came from DepEd, called Summative Test for 2nd Grading-Grade 4.

Eduard decided to answer the English part first. I checked it afterward; Eduard was a bright boy, and he only had a few mistakes. Sadly, the DepEd reviewer also had a few mistakes.

Correct sample question and answer:

17. Joshua puts a ribbon on the tail of the kitten. How will you rewrite the underlined phrase in another way?

a. kitten’s tail     b. kittens’ tail    c. kittens tail    d. kitten tail.

We know the answer is a (the possessive form of the singular kitten and its singular tail). But just in the next number, the following question appears:

18. How will you rewrite the bags of the pupils in another way?

a. pupils bag     b. pupil’s bag     c. pupil bags    d. pupil bag

I suppose the correct answer should be pupils’ bags, both pupils and bags in plural form. I wonder which letter is it.

Seriously, things like this should not go unnoticed. Even if it were just a typographical error (but the next number that follows also commits the same mistake), ommission like this one creates confusion in small children’s minds, and if this becomes deeply embedded, it would be harder to correct until the child grows up. The topic here isn’t as complex as natural sleep aid, but the error committed is a serious one.

the good one

I found a rather interesting quote from Isaac Asimov, best known for his Three Laws of Robotics.

If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.

I think I have always pondered on that thought and mostly leaned toward the same belief. Probably, Asimov just verbalized it for me. It really doesn’t make sense that the religious are the good ones, and that those who lack/do not have faith are the bad ones. This one’s a rather serious topic (compared to what’s the best acne products), and probably it requires a sense of maturity. Then again, a child who hasn’t been taught a set of beliefs could easily point to which between the two is right.

just one more!

My official semestral breaks starts tomorrow. Well, despite that finals are all over, I still have a paper to submit in our sort-of-theology subject due today. (Actually, we call it “sem”, but i don’t really know the name of the subject.)

So therein lies the problem. I couldn’t start the paper (brain’s on vacation mode already), ergo, I couldn’t start my sembreak. I just stared long hours in front of the PC without a single sentence. Diet pills on line  and Noynoy politics would have been easier to understand than what I was asked to write about. I think I’m not cut for philosophy. haha.

So, what does it mean when Isaac Asimov said, “never let your morals get in the way of doing what’s right”? Anyone? And oh, I need to give examples. Argh!

without regret

The whole week was quite exhausting. I had to take several intense coffee and energy drinks to keep me “alive” for each day. At the end of each day though, it still felt like the hours weren’t enough. Every day, I regretted not starting earlier (i.e., not during the finals week) in the review for the finals. Then again, I needed to work double time the week before so I could have enough in time for the bills. (I took a leave without pay during the finals.) It’s not really that I’m laxing or reading an epiduo review, though I did watch 2 or 3 shows of Bleach everyday. So, nothing to regretful about, eh? Besides, cramming works fine for me, though I’m not pretty sure it would this time. I pray and hope it would.

Anyway, another semester ended. Despite my apprehensions of enrolling, I have no regrets.

quick chopsuey stop

I just wanna take a breather from all these pile of papers with small letters in front of me. =) Some random things playing in my mind.

A friend kept asking me about managed web hosting. Why do people think I know such things? I know nothing about it. I’m almost Web illiterate. haha.

I’m done with two major subjects. 6 more to go. And it’s over. (and oh, a paper.)

I’m glad I’m temporarily relieved from non-school-related stress.

Lately, I’ve been praying for mothers, mine and my friends’.

Got myself a free jeepney ride from a grumpy driver. Seating beside him, I apologized even before I handed a 100-peso bill (the only bill in my wallet!) and said, “Manong, wala po akong barya, pasensiya na.” He had paper bills clipped in his hands, but probably annoyed by me, said in an irritable tone, “Wala kang barya? Sige, wag na!” I found two 1-peso coins in my pouch and was giving it to him, “Manong, sige eto na lang po. Next time na lang po.” And he said, with finality, “Wag na!” I didn’t insist, lest he kick me out of the jeep. But thanks to him, he broke my stress-streak week. =)

good week, better week!

Good morning fellas!

Here’s another week for us all. Hope every one will have a great week ahead. I’m going to have a tough one this week — FINALS week (so why the hell am I still blogging? =p). I can’t wait for the week to be over. I’m already too eager for vacation. I may not be able to get a Branson vacation package, but I sure have many plans for the short break, including visiting all of your blogs and some of my friends personally. I miss reading your blogs. Have a nice week! Wish me luck! =)

  
:-)