waiting/stalling

I have cousins and friends who love drinking. Since they started drinking beer, they haven’t stopped. It is a regular thing. I join them whenever I can, though it’s seldom. I also have friends who love smoking weed. And I don’t mind the smell, though I haven’t tried one. Some people mistake me for a ganja user, but I haven’t really smoked one. I am not judging people who use them; most of them I know are good people. They smoke for different reasons. Several nights ago, one friend insisted that I tried to smoke one. I have virgin lungs, he said. He was an intelligent man and tried talking me into it. He told me that cigarettes are worse because it has nicotine, that it isn’t really bad for the health (i.e., in case I didn’t have an NC health insurance yet), and that they would ensure that I am in good hands with them. I’ve already heard (and wrote a paper) the things he said, except the last of course. And I actually believe that he had good intentions on insisting. His real concern was that he wanted me to see things I’ve never seen before—-more like to open my mind on things I haven’t thought about. I believe him; I know that. While going home, he seriously asked me why I didn’t want to try. I said, I would, but not this time. He said, life is so short, and the universe as we know it may just end soon. I said, I’m just waiting for the right moment, and I’d just know it when it comes. Then I added, when I do this now, there’s nothing else to look forward to, there’s nothing else to try.