…and it’s over

Well, at least, the first year. After I got home last night, I wore the most comfortable clothes I have, watched a good TV show, and laid down on my bed, using my favorite smooth blanket.

It just feels good sleeping without thinking of anything. Either because you have nothing else to think about, or because you are too tired thinking, it doesn’t matter. It’s still a good sleep, a damn good one.

I’ve learned so many things this year, and though it has been quite a hard time for me, I realized how much I enjoy learning the things I really wanted to know (not like Anilox cleaning), and I only hope I can finish it all the way. Problems keep on arising, and honestly there are times I thought of stopping, that maybe there are just things that aren’t for you, no matter how much you want it.

But I am really thankful that there are really these people who gave me all kinds of supports—financial, academic, spiritual, and moral. And if not for me, I move forward for them. So, I really hope, it isn’t over just yet.

(Note: Special thanks to lola, paul, pedro, and kg for everything!)

until it’s over

Quick note: Only two final exams (and a bunch of papers) to go, and the first year is over. Finally, I can stop just reading (and watching Showtime) all day, and start strolling, relaxing, getting rid of belly fat, watching DVDs… anything as long as it is something else. They say it aint over until it’s over (but I just couldn’t move on—see below). I can’t wait to see the end.

smells bad

I am more than halfway the finals week, and I’ve just finished the most dreadful tonight. Upper class pips said that the professor had the worst reputation in school in terms of passing students. Her reputation precedes her. All of us studied hard for this exam today. Some even started last week. The big eye bugs (not even the best under eye cream can conceal) and the dark circles around the eyes attest to that… and yet we all felt the same. It was depressingly hard. Combined with the fact that she evidently hates our class compared with other classes, and that I am “confident” of my wrong answers, I can almost smell failure. Hay.

simple thieves

A classmate and I were forced to take a cab to get to the nearest FX terminal because it was already late. When we asked the driver how much the fare was, he said it was 60. Experience would tell you that it’s more than what it should have been. So I looked at the meter, it wasn’t on! I confronted him about it, “Manong, sira ata yung metro niyo.” That smartass said, “Hindi yan sira, mahina lang ang ilaw.” I said, “Manong naman, nakapatay oh. Tingnan mo.” Well, there wasn’t even a hint of light, and I couldn’t imagine how he read the amount from a dead meter. I should have checked that out when we got in, but I hadn’t expected drivers do that nowadays. But because my classmate was uncomfortable with the confrontation, he gave the driver a 100-peso bill. The driver said, still uncontented with his machinations, said, “Pano ba to? Wala akong pang-sukli e.” That was a difference of 40 pesos! That’s already a rice meal for us students, or 80 pages or more of photocopied papers, or some other more important use than just giving it away to him. I just couldn’t believe the audacity of that man. My usually submissive classmate also couldn’t take the guts of that man. He asked (more like insisted) for the 100-peso bill back, with the driver hesitating, and gave him 60 pesos composed of a 20-peso bill and numerous coins. I got out, and closed the door with the loudest bang that I can.

The following day, while walking alone in a street in Manila, a woman approached me. “Miss, pwedeng magtanong?” (I hoped it would not be a salestalk for wholesaleinsurance.net) So I paused and waited for her question. She was wearing a decent slacks and blouse. Initially, it seemed that she got lost and needed directions. She explained that someone told her that the terminal to Batangas was in that street and that she came from the province (she didn’t mention what). Before I can tell her that I do not know a bus terminal in the area, she went on and on until she finally said, “hindi ako pulubi, pero kung pwedeng bigyan mo naman ako ng pamasahe.” So dismayed, I just shook my head and walked ahead.

stranger than your sympathy

This week marks the beginning of the end of my first year in law school. But of course, I would have to take and hopefully pass the finals before the first year finally ends. I would need a lot of system memory and tons of prayers for that. They say that when it rains, it pours. And indeed, it’s pouring hard nowadays. The exams are the least of my worries, but not one that I can just dispense with. I felt like drowning, only I know how (and had) to swim. What can I do? C’est la vie.

Today, a song seemed to be playing on and on in my head, particulary these following lines from Goo Goo Dolls sympathy (it’s a good song, listen to it):