just one

There are so many things I want to be; there are so many things I just couldn’t be.

Poet. Storyteller. There is just something beautiful in words that rhyme and something fantastic in the macabre themes of Poe. The subtleties are mysterious and sublime. I tried writing a story once; after it was done, there was only discontent in what seemed to be an all too familiar soap opera plot. It was disappointing really, sacrificing a night of sleep for some piece of paper that neither has value nor form.

I have accepted since then that I am not made for it, and I just couldn’t be it. At least I can make good letters, and at least I can appreciate a good story when I read one. From time to time, I can compose a nice essay, but that’s just about it. Even when I become too old and wasting time looking for the best wrinkle creams and their promise of eternal youth, I know I couldn’t compose one immortal poem.

At times though, like this one, I wish I could make even just one.

After Typhoon Ondoy; donations and relief goods

I am yet to tell you our own personal tragedy. I could not write on it yet. For now, I’d like to write about anything else, maybe about the national tragedy that was Ondoy, or maybe the silver lining after the storm, if we look quite hard to find it.

There was a point that news on TV was too much, death and destruction abound. As I rode the bus to the province, I have seen the vestiges of the typhoon, and I am pretty sure the roads I was passing were the least affected. Sure there are industrial products destroyed, from Metro Manila even up to Bulacan, but the houses are still intact and the children are all safe. The tragedy to many is unspeakable.

Meanwhile, there are many people who have taken the initiative to help others. The giant networks have been accepting donations and distributing relief goods to badly damaged areas. Even my school had been asking the names and addresses of students who were affected. Everybody is doing their part to help the nation rise above this tragedy.

1. The list of banks where donations can be sent can be found in this SITE.

2. Donations can also be sent through credit card or PayPal (click on the sites).

too early for stress

Warning: ranting post.

Recently, I’ve met so many relatives, and all of them already knew I am studying law. It was only in my first semester in law school, and everybody was already expecting me to be a lawyer. I haven’t finished the first semester yet! Of course, I, more than most of them, want to be one, and there is no doubt in my mind that I would try the best I could to be one. But the expectations are overwhelming. This is precisely the reason I do not want to tell people that I am studying again, but I couldn’t just ask my parents not to tell anyone. There are plenty of possibilities that I cannot finish on time, or finish law school, or pass the bar. I could have a change of plans, or I could not juggle work and school. I could live abroad, or study something else, or start a family. The point is I do not want people expecting, as if the only reason I would not finish is lack of intelligence or irresponsibility. Argh!

More than that, I do not like it when everybody seemed to have a say on what I would do when I become a lawyer. When asked, I always say, “I hope I can work on human rights,” and then people would ALWAYS express their disagreement and suggest some other lawyer work (I can compile them all in micro sd!). The truth is I haven’t decided yet (though I am sure I want to help those in need); for goodness’ sake, I’m still on my first semester!

moving classes

Classes have been suspended a week, rightfully if I may add. As for me, I have been absent since last Thursday. I have been sick since I arrived from the peace retreat. Then, there was this typhoon named Ondoy, which left Metro Manila literally underwater. Even if the classes were not suspended, I would still be absent for the whole week this week for personal matters.

I’ve been thinking how this semester had been disturbed by so many uncontrollable forces since it started. In fact, the start of classes had been postponed for a week because of the A(H1N1) scare. Then, there were numerous typhoons that warranted the suspension of classes. Because of the delays, the professors have been forcing students to catch up, sometimes more than they can handle. Some have resorted to listening to audio codals (i.e., Article 1, Section 1 of the Constitution, etc.) in their Mp3 players just to memorize.

The typhoons, including the ferocious ones, enter during the first semester. I am thinking if it would be better to move it to some other months, say, summer, when students would be least affected. The rainy season, and the flood, has become a constant problem to students.

like some famous good actors

I like cars. I like looking at them and dreaming of having and driving the best of them. Imagine the sleek design. Imagine the speed. For now, I have to satisfy myself with my collection.

When I’m on the road, if not my mind, my eyes wander. Often, sports cars and other luxury cars catch my attention. They shine like a star in the night. They look so precious, I stay away from them. It’s big trouble to even cause a scratch to them. Unfortunately, there are very few types of cars here. Most are Toyota, Mitsubishi, and Honda. Some of their better cars are not available here in the Philippines. From what I have heard, import taxes are so expensive that even the rich are discouraged to import a car. And of course, with our struggling economy, the country is not a marketable country for cars. I hope in the future we’d have a booming economy and a wealthy car industry. So for now, equipped with my old Canon camera, I contend with posing besides beautiful sports cars I see in the street, like they are some famous good actors.

As for me, I have always liked the Ferrari. But if I get to choose which car I’d really like to have, hmmm, I’d say Lamborghini.

no ID, no entry

I have always had troubles with ID. Yes, ID cards. I just hate wearing them.

I am not particularly a shy person. I have outgrown shyness. I might appear on direct tv, and it would not matter much to me. I can even sing in front of a crowd I barely know (heck, even on direct satellite tv), and I would be unconcerned with what they would say about my out-of-tune voice. Maybe I can even dance with people on direct tv satellite, and I would not mind what they would think about my incorrigible lack of dancing skill.

BUT I do not like people looking at my ID. Really, I do not know why I do not like wearing an ID for all people to see my name and my frowning ID picture. I do not know exactly why. Problem with authority?

When I was in elementary, my adviser sent me out of the classroom for not wearing an ID for the nth time. In high school, I literally climbed the wall to get inside the school because of the “No ID, No Entry” policy. In college, well, I have not much need for ID (mabuhay ang UP!). In the office, I have several encounters with persons in “authority”. In law school, I still do not wear an ID. But at least I have it now in my purse. I do not want miss anything just because of the ID.

I know ID is for some good purpose. But I feel “tied” when I wear it. I’d do anything to get away with it. haha.

basta driver, sweet lover

There were three ladies sitting in the middle of the FX. Two of them (in their 30s) wore spaghetti straps, without bothering to hide the straps of their bras. The other one looked like a teenager, wearing a very fit blouse. She was also the one doing the talking, while the two women were whispering to her. These three were naughty.

The teenaged girl said, “what’s your number, kuya?” I looked at the driver in the mirror, and he didn’t seem to hear it. Or at least he acted that he did not. The driver looked like in his mid-30s and fatter than most men. The women continued whispering to each other.

At this point, I was waiting for what would happen next. I was thinking that the driver would not entertain these advances from the women. Perhaps he is not that kind of man.

After a few minutes, the young lady asked again, “Do you have a pen?” I was expecting the driver to ignore them again. But then he said, “a pencil only.” “That’s okay,” the women said. In the mirror, I saw him smiling, as if kinikilig. Excitedly, he was browsing through the compartment in the front, and this while the FX was moving slowly. He handed the pencil to the women, who had already prepared a piece of paper. They gave back the number to the driver and said, “Call us, okay?” The driver said while grinning, “Okay.” Then, the women went down, and the driver was still smiling.

Some men need to take a diet pill, go to the gym, and have cool hair styles to get women, but not this driver. He is living up to the dictum: basta driver, sweet lover. haha.

peace retreat treaty

It seemed like a gloomy Friday, the day my block along with others would depart for the peace retreat. It was a few weeks ago that I learned that this is a requirement in San Beda and that I have already paid for it in my tuition.

Last Friday noon, I surrendered my cellular phone and notebook and pen to the campus ministry. These and watches (not even pet supplies) are not allowed during the peace retreat. I was still a bit nervous of what would happen there. I guess I am kind of afraid of releasing my inner demons or opening the skeletons in my closet.

I will tell you some other time what happened there. :p

sleep all day

When I arrived at my house around 9 pm yesterday, I was already feeling unwell. The peace retreat was tiring, not to mention the lack of sleep.

finding the right one

Oh, no. This is not as serious about finding the right guy or the perfect church for a wedding. haha.

We are still looking for good apartments, especially in the Taft area. This sembreak, the searching would be in full force again. I have asked so many people for suggestions, so far, none have given any. haha. Any suggestions?