the promise of delayed gratification

I believe in delayed gratification. I need to. I have to. For the 3 years I’ve been saving 10-peso coins, I acquired a Samsung flat-screen TV. As a kid, I had a separate coin bank for 5 and 10 cents; in 2 years, I had 7 pesos. When I got these things, it made me thankful I saved and sacrificed. I have to achieve something somewhere somehow. I’d be successful IF I work hard and IF I relinquish comforts that seemed to fit me right. I’d settle for less than or just what I need. I’d buy my luxury cars and Patek Philippe watches later in my life. For all the pains and troubles, I would have my gratification in sight. True or not, it made my hardships seemed alright.

Have You’s

Yey! I was tagged by very sweet jetty.

1. Have you ever been on TV? Yeah, for a split second.

2. Have you ever sung in public? Yup yup, without batting an eyelash. haha.

3. Have you ever dyed your hair blond? Not even dreamed. I wanted to have a part of my hair dyed though, like Rogue of X-Men.

4. Have you ever eaten frog legs? No. My lola cooked frogs before when we were kids, but I couldn’t force myself to eat it. They looked like humans floating face down to me back then. Maybe now I’ll feel differently.

5. Have you ever received a present that you really hated? Yup, but it was from someone who gate-crashed at my party. hehe.

6. Have you ever walked into a lamp post? Nope, but I tripped on emergency lights during Cory’s time, making the house pitch-black.  Oops. Mom said, “careless.”

7. Have you ever cooked a meal by yourself for more than 15 people? The best I did was for two people.

9. Have you ever done volunteer work? Yup yup.

Remembering these things is really fun! I hope you would enjoy doing this tag, too, yeine, kayni, sheng, and wits. Highly recommended when you’re bored, want to have fun, or want to blog but nothing to blog about. Lucky, lucky me. I wanted these three. haha.

plight of flight

Recently, I told friends that I’d trade 10 years of my life if I could fly for a day. Yes, minus 10 years of my life just for a single day. They found it absurd; I found it reasonable.

I’ve dreamt of flying ever since I can remember. That is the coolest power one can have, and the scariest. Taking your feet off the ground will make you feel unhuman, more than drinking blood will, Lestat said.

Flying is absolute freedom, I said.

The closest I can get to defying linear motion and gravity

Off to horizon

those left standing

Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly,
count your blessings, seduce a stranger.
What’s so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness.

More than the arduous task of being healthy (exercising, watching diet, taking discount supplements), live and love freely.

When she woke in the morning,
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning,
“Don’t ever let life pass you by.”

Be brave. Do what you want. Be bold. Take a risk.

I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it’s made illegal.
When will we learn? When will we change?
Just in time to see it all fall down.
Those left standing will make millions…
writing books on the way it should have been.

Listen to the music. Dance like a dervish.

deja vu

In my anticipation of a Saturday full of boredom in Paranaque, as I live alone and have no plans of doing anything or with anyone, I decided to take the invitation of two pretty boys to meet up with them in Tomas Morato. At around 11 p.m., I packed my 3 days worth of clothes and drove to Morato.

And finally, I saw them again. They looked the same as they did before, only more matured and more masculine. Impressive.

“You know, you should go back here in Quezon City. You live so far.” Hah. As if I don’t want to. “But my work is there,” I said. “Look for work here.” Hmmm…

They must really want to see me to wait meeting up with me until midnight. Last I’ve seen Warren was at Aunt Cathy’s wedding (she now has her second born), and Kelvin, 2 years before that.

When we sat at the table, me and my two cousins started talking about anything and everything, trying to compress the years that had passed in a few hours. We used to talk only about who cheated in Patintero and the accidents we had with rollerblades when we were kids. We used to have family reunions once a month. But almost all of our relatives are in the States now, so the reunion stopped altogether.

We talked about our works (Kelvin is a practicing nurse and Warren is an RN who’s working as a trainer of call center agents) and our career plans. We discussed possible opportunities, including retail jobs, but their ultimate goals were to live abroad. Sigh. Warren’s whole family and Kelvin’s mom live in the States. We talked about relationships, past and present, and made fun of the stupidest thing we did for “love.” haha. The most lively conversation, the most laughs, we had was on our childhood memories. Warren and I started teasing Kelvin, remembering that he was really a mama’s boy, always with a towel on his back. And we became children once again.

A Rodeo Ride

Before 2008 ended, I promised myself I would do best I can to “fix” all my troubles this year. I was so optimistic then; I actually thought everything will go as planned because, well, I already planned. Surprise, surprise. Chasing all the foes and woes away are really, really hard, but one has to do what one has to do. First, I planned on enrolling at UP ITTC, but the schedule has been moving and moving until it has finally messed up my schedule. I’ve been consulting with friends and debating with myself as what to do with this. Alas! No agreement has been reached…yet. Second, I planned on “moving” my career, but the responses aren’t as fast as predicted. Lo! Another deviation from my timeline. Third onward are the more serious ones, which, partly because of goals 1 and 2, seemed to be foggier and foggier everyday. Hey, fate, are you testing my patience?

Then, again, what are my troubles with the people hurt, badly hurt, by the scams of the evil Legacy Group and Celso de los Angeles? Shame on you. These people who have tried to compare term life insurance here in the country for better deals, who have acquiesced in depositing their hard-earned money in your banks, who have entrusted the future of their children in your preneed plans, and who have made you RICH. Have you no heart at all? I don’t know about justice here, but I am hoping that karma decides…soon.

into my room…

I said I like toy cars and toy guns—so much more than Barbie dolls, if at all. Why not? They are beautiful and elegant, and really look like the real-life stuff they’re trying to replicate. On the other hand, there are so many freakish-looking dolls that would scare a child to death. Alright, not really. But cars and guns are really more fun to play with!

With the help of my cousins, we took photos of my toy cars. These are not the ones I played with as a child, more like the ones I wanted to have in real life. haha. Presenting…

 
Clockwise: my non-sports car collection; my mustang, porsche, and lamborghini; my Ferrari model cars that I can play with, plus a Dodge Viper; and my two-speed Ferrari model cars.

 These are my bigger cars. The red sports car is the Ferrari F50, the blue one is the Dodge Viper, the silver one is the BMW, and the top-down red is the Chevy.

You can open the doors of most of these cars, but with some, the hood can even be opened! You can see the Ferrari parts inside! How cool is that, ha?

Wish I can have at least one of these in my lifetime! If I get one, I’ll let you drive.