one happy, magical day

October 20, 2008

I had a truly happy weekend.

I went home to my province, about 3 to 4 hours away from Metro Manila, last Saturday morning. I was feeling kind of depressed and lonely. Although I like the quietness of living alone here in Manila, I prefer to be in the province whenever I feel sad, in the comfort of my home and my family, although I am never outspoken with them. In a way, the air feels reassuring, even the heat of the day is not as annoying—a comfort zone, people say.

Saturday, instead of my usual habit of staying at my room either sleeping or watching DVDs with my little cousins, I stayed in the terrace with my grandmother and my 15-year-old cousin, eating merienda there, listening to her updates about people and about her, and talking, not so seriously, about life and about my future. I jokingly told her that I would never marry and that I’ll die at 42 (don’t know why it sounded so funny then), Ian and I laughed at the idea, but my lola smilingly objected, telling me “Bago ako mamatay, ipapa-pangako ko sayo na kailangan kang mag-asawa, kung hindi wala kang mana” [Before I die, I would have you promise me that you’d marry because if not, you won’t get inheritance]. I wittily replied that it sounded like a soap opera, and we all laughed hard. I actually don’t know if she was serious, but maybe she was. Ever since, she was the only one supportive of my “love life.” One time, lola told my strict parents that I would accompany her to a senior citizen meeting, and I did. The thing is, she told me that the guy I like should come with us. It’s a secret between us, of course. Cool, ha? Amazingly, I never told her that I like that guy, not even implied. How come she knew? Since then, she’d tease me about him and defend the guy from my parents.

Even if I was so sleepy, having to wake up 5 am, I stayed there until 5 pm, not noticing the time passing by. Before I went to my room, I asked her if she’s going to mass the next day. She said that she would, and I told her that I would come with her.

A first for me, I woke up at 7 am to go to church. On Sundays, I normally wake up around 12 noon, and normally, I don’t go to church. But yesterday, I was prepared to go to church even before she was. I waited for her to dress up, then the two of us headed to the cathedral. During the collection, I was opening my wallet to get donations for the church, but she insisted that she would give the money for us. Nakakatawa. It was like I was only in elementary and that she was in charge of everything.

After the mass, we went to the city’s palengke. I felt nostalgic because I used to go with her to the market and carry the basket for her, up until grade 2. She’d buy food and tuba (not the wine) for me, then she’d tell the vendors and the people she knows there, “This is my granddaughter. She’s studying in Montessori. She’s an honor student.” I’d smile at them meekly (I was a very shy child, back then). At the market, I still carried all the things she purchased, the onions, the lumpia wrapper, the chicken, the niyog, etc. She’d insist that she carry some of the bags, but I liked carrying all of those for her. I guess it’s my way of compensating for all those times that I missed doing pamamalengke with her there. While we were there, it was as if I would stray if I lost sight of her. I almost held her hand like a little child afraid to get lost. Standing behind her, she’d introduce me to the people, “This is my granddaughter. She’s a UP graduate,” among other things, and there was an aura of pride coming from her. That’s one person proud of me! We went home around 11 am, I ate lunch at our house, and she at hers. And by 2 pm, Ian, I, and lola were already on our way to the newly opened Robinson’s mall. She promised me she’d treat me to an eat-all-you-can merienda, but my other cousin, Tootie, told her that he’d meet us at the mall to treat us (because he would be regularized by Smart soon). While waiting for Tootie’s break time (he’s working at the mall), I told her and Ian that I would go to the comfort room and that they should just stay at Tootie’s office to wait for him. Lola insisted that she’d go with me, accompanying me until the door of the comfort room. Was I a small child in her eyes? I think not, but perhaps she also just liked to spend as much time with me as possible. I guess she somehow sensed my loneliness, explaining why she wanted to eat out when she rarely wants to leave the house.

At the buffet, we ate a lot, and all the time, I’d ask her what she wants and bring her whatever that is from the buffet table—this is mordsith at her nicest! Haha!

From the time I stayed at the terrace until Sunday night, that I was lonely slipped my mind. There was an overwhelming feeling of happiness. I never had that bonding moment with lola and my cousins for a long time. It was like an answered prayed. I asked to not let me be sad, and it was magic, she was my magic!

[lola with cousins ian and billy (from left to right)]

I was so happy I felt like I don’t want to come back here in Manila. It almost pains me to sleep last night knowing I’d leave in the morning. It was just 4 hours away, but it seemed so far. I gotta have more moments such as these. Someday, all things will fall into place. Maybe someday, I’d be her magic.