Great Man Part II: Tito Edgar

The second great man I know is my Tito Edgar. He was a father to four children, including a 5-year-old child with Down syndrome who was also diagnosed to have leukemia. When he had his first child, I guess he was not prepared yet to be a father. The child grew up with my lola. His second child used to stay at his biological mother’s house but now stays with him. He eventually was finally able to build his own house, and his third and fourth child live with him and his wife at their own house. He got all matters in his hand. He and his wife were able to start a little store and get into a small-time jewelry business (buying and selling). It seemed that they were on their way to a successful life.

However, it was June last year when we learned that Eric, then a 4-year-old, was diagnosed with leukemia. Lola, my mom, Eric’s mom, they were all crying. But not Tito. I knew him to be the masculine man. I guess it was then that he started to be a good father.

Though he was never an irresponsible father, he still enjoyed drinking with his buddies or riding motorcycles with them. He wasn’t really the hands-on father type. He was never sentimental, emotional, or dramatic. After Eric’s diagnosis, he was immediately confined to PCMC. It was one of the most challenging times of our life, and mostly to Tito and Eric’s life.

Eric was confined for more than a month, and Tito was the one taking care of him. There was no bed for him to sleep on, so he managed to sleep at night on a monoblock chair. Whenever his wife visits, since only one can stay with the patient, he opted to sleep outside the hospital with a carton as his bedsheet. He could stay at my place, but he didn’t want to be far in case Eric needs him. He saw all his youngest child’s suffering and was always there to calm him and take care of him. Imagine how painful it is for a father to witness his son shaking while having chemotherapy. As time went on, he was able to memorize all the medicines and the dosages and got to know all the nurses in the ward.

During Eric’s first hospital stay, he would ask someone to look for Eric only if he would go to PCSO or to Kapuso Foundation to ask for medical assistance or medicines. After a long day, he would return to Eric and attend to his needs. He would diligently follow up his requests for assistance and get it himself when approved. After Eric was discharged from the hospital, they went home to Nueva Ecija. As if he did not have the need to rest, he went to Manila the next day and again looked for medical assistance. Leukemia indeed is very expensive. Sometimes he jokes about selling Eric piece by piece, but, really, his devotion to his son is unquestionable.

Twice or three times a week, he would bring Eric to PCMC to have his chemotherapy. He now knows everything about Eric’s illness. Though Eric could not speak, he instantly understands whatever sound or hand gestures Eric makes. And the child do not want his father out of his sight. When most mothers are beside their sick children, Tito was beside Eric. On occasions when Eric had to be confined again for days, Tito would still be the one to stay at the hospital while following up on medical assistance. He never lost his temper and his happy nature. Whenever there’s a “newcomer” at PCMC, he starts a conversation to the parents of the sick child and give them encouragement and tips. I can only watch in amazement when this happens. He was never grumpy, though he was awfully tired. Sometimes he fell asleep because of a long day, but wakes up instantly whenever Eric makes a soft noise or little movement. He would never spend 8 pesos to ride a jeepney when he can walk in distances that are not “walking distance” to most—this in addition to having to carry Eric all the way plus huge bags. He never seemed to get tired of Eric, when I or anyone gets tired of looking after Eric for a whole day.

If there is anything such as a blessing in disguise, it was because of Eric’s illness, Tito transformed from a good father to a great one.