law school showbiz

In law school, rumors also abound. And we students seek those rumors, especially about the professors. Is he nice? Is she that bad? Does he like verbatim recitations? Does she always come to class? Is it true that she fails most of her students?

Honestly, I kinda believe those rumors. Before we met our lady professor last sem, we have heard rumors that she “hates” her female students. Undeniable, she was harder on us girls. There were also news about this super nice professor, and indeed, he made law school a little less harder for us. We even gave him a cake for thanks.

But today, I have heard the most peculiar rumors. They said our old male professor was nice–especially to girls. I’ve seen him twice, and he was lenient to 1 or 2 girls in our last recitation, but not enough to confirm the rumors yet. And there was another rumor about him. They said he is inclined to fail surnames starting with C and D. Uh-oh…that includes me! To save myself, they said I have to smile sweetly when I get called on recitations and to never forget to wear sexy clothes. Sweet and sexy. I better lose belly fat fast. One’s gotta do what one’s gotta do.

Just kidding!

musically inclined

Musically inclined are those people who have the talent for music. Musically inclined are those gifted children constantly asked by their parents to sing on every occasion, whether they like it or not.

I myself had piano lessons every Saturday morning. The teacher said I was a fast learner. I can easily memorize the pieces. I can master a piece fast and play it without mistake. And my teacher would honestly look convinced.

But every week, I did all I can to avoid these lessons. My most common strategy was to pretend asleep until after he leaves our house. If my parents did not know any better, they would think I’m dead.

The problem is, it was mechnical for me. I can play the pieces because I can memorize which keys to press and which notes would come after. I was so unlike my cousins who are “widows.” I admire them so much. Marunong silang kumapa. I can only play what I was taught. The last piece I was able to play was Fur Elise, composed by Ludwig van Beethoven. Now, I can barely play Old MacDonald.

However, I have always liked music. I know a lot of songs, and singers, and bands. If I had those iphone accessories, I’d probably have more than a thousand songs. I love singing, and this without hesitation nor reservation. But I want to really learn to play a musical instrument.

Several taught me to play the guitar, and those several lost their patience. t2rad and I have been planning (for years already) to have actual drum lessons. I hope we can find the time. More importantly, I hope I can really learn…so I can be one of those musically inclined.

Six Hours

Warning: rant post

Six hours. This is the number of hours I waste whenever I go to school, wait for professors, and nobody appears. Since the start of this semester, this has happened several times already! Frankly, it’s pissing me off. They could have informed us throught text that they are not coming, which some professors actually do. How hard can it be? Time is so precious to me, and when you are juggling everything all at once, a wasted time is twice more annoying! I could have worked more to save my dying bank account. I could have studied more so I could catch up on my backlog readings. And I could have rested to avoid a have a dark eye circle and slept well to replenish my sapped out strength.

When you come home 11 pm after long hours of classes, it’s tiring. But at least you learned. But when you come home and achieved nothing, it’s not only tiring; it’s also quite irritating!

Sunset Looking At Me

At the back of the FX, I was concentrating on my book. It was hard to memorize when the music was so loud, and outside of my taste. After reading a sentence or two, I close my eyes to recite them in my mind. But it was not working. I repeated the process again and again—to no avail. For the last time, I read the provisions, and instead of closing my eyes, I looked away from the book. There were no passengers or hair supplements ads blocking the window view.

Sunset. In the distance, I saw the sunset. For some reason, I just paused and looked at it. It was a perfect circle, with a golden orange glow. It was setting, but it was glowing. It seemed a contradiction. The sun was so quiet and solemn, and the long road of Roxas Boulevard was so loud and uncaring.

For what seemed a long time, this golden sun never left my sight. It was constantly directly in front of me, as if flaunting its glorious color. I have been passing by this road every day, and I never paused to appreciate Manila’s sunset. Instead, the sun decided to look at me.

just another semester

Tomorrow, I’d be back to my not-so-comfortable office clothes and the long travels to school. The sad thing is I haven’t recharged yet; I barely had a semestral break. Since August, I was hoping for this break and planned to meet up with many old friends. My little cousins and I planned on decorating our old artificial christmas tree and malling; we weren’t even able to set the tree up. What can you do in a week?

I guess I’d have to wait for another break. I hope this total unenthusiasm is only for the meantime.

in a flash

The semester is finally over, and our block ended it with a party, which I hesitantly attended. I just wanted to go back home to the province as soon as I can.

It was really as they said it, you won’t notice the passage of time. The first days never seemed to end, the first weeks were too long, and then it was just…over.

And it is in this flash of time that you look back to, when it is all done. You try to make sense of what seemed to be inessential and preposterous at the time. And you realize that some things were really not that important.

I have rediscovered that I really want a simple life. That some of the things I often remember are the simplest ones—the ride in the bikes, the slow walks in the nonbusy streets, the comfortable shorts, and the tattered shirts. This busy life now should be just for the now. The future should hold a much better way and a much better life.

I have relearned that I really wanted to be a lawyer. It is perhaps in this way that I can help people the most. I want to help. I have never studied this much in my entire life combined, and I have never felt such fear for failure such as now.

Even I surprised myself when I became this workaholic. Half of my mind lurks into my different works and possible opportunities (government service, philadelphia jobs, or just plain freelancing). Amazing. There are really different weaves in this pattern. Probably I am liking this me, probably I am not. But there is one thing I learned: no matter how much you busy yourself, some things will not change in a flash.

waiting in vain

In the middle of the final week, I am slacking. This may probably be due to the exams I took last Friday (from the second professor mentioned here). First, I totally lost concentration the day I was supposed to study due to extraneous circumstances. As a result, I lost a lot of time. Second, the exam was especially difficult and too lengthy. Some even cried after taking it, and most were embraced by depression, myself included. She gives unbelievably low grades, like you never learned a thing in her class. Waiting for the results seemed worse than having mesothelioma. Anticipation is killing all of us.

simple and gold

Simple. My high school classmates said I was different from my group because I was simple. I hadn’t understood then what they meant. I see all of us the same way. We were all just kids.

My mom always used to complain why I do not wear jewelry when I attend events and why I do not wear makeup during these parties. I prefer not wearing any jewelry, even a watch. Partly because I was very active as a child, I always lose them, and I was constantly reminded of the value of what I’ve lost. But generally I just don’t like dressing up and accesorizing. I am more comfortable with my slippers. Besides, when you wear big gold necklaces nowadays, people either say you worked in Saudi or need a colon cleanse for your hepatitis. haha.

But I do not mind if I can have some pieces of gold bullion. On a conversation on what to wish for from a genie, one said a wallet that never runs out of money, and another said an endless supply of gold coins (was it you, eks?) and gave pretty good economic reasons why it is better to have bullion than money (which I cannot remember now, but i checked this helpful site on gold coin)

And if that genie grants our wish, life would become a bit simple.

Nightmares

Then, I felt the earth move violently. It was an earthquake. I can hear my father calling out to me, panicking. I do not know if it was for his or for my life. The shaking would cause everything to fall, the Ferrari parts of my toy cars, the vases, the television, even the wall. Yet, I do not understand. How can I be in my house there when I am here in my room alone? I tried to get up; my father still calling out to me. I could not stand up. I can already see my body lying on my bed, eyes still closed. Get up! Get up!

My eyes opened. My heart was running as fast as I could imagine. I wonder how my daydream turned out to be this nightmare.

nightmare - something (as an experience, situation, or object) having the monstrous character of a nightmare or producing a feeling of anxiety or terror

Daydreams

It was 2 p.m. Feeling so tired and sleepy, I decided to take a nap before I go to class. A minute or two after I closed my eyes, I realized that the neighborhood was unusually quiet. There was no loud talking or loud music, especially no hammer banging, wall drilling, or grinding steam cleaners. Perhaps most were already in their office or asleep.

Then, eyes still closed, I heard birds chirping. I hadn’t realized that there were also birds flying about in this area. Perhaps I have always equated this city with fast and noisy life. I enjoyed the sound of the chirping birds blending with the sound of a softly blowing wind. It was relaxing. There was no need to open my eyes or to fall asleep right ahead.

Then, at a distance, I heard the voices of children laughing. They were playing habulan, I supposed. There were shouts here and there, followed by giggles and simultaneous laughter. I visualized that they were all in good spirits, playing under the glorious sun.

Then, I could not tell anymore if I was awake or dreaming. But I know for sure, I missed home.

daydream -  a pleasant visionary usually wishful creation of the imagination